Book Review: I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman

‘I Was Born For This’ by Alice Oseman was released in 2018. It is one of her novels, as opposed to her comics. This particular story explores fan culture and friendship. It follows Fereshteh, or as she’s better known, Angel Rahemi, a superfan of a rock band called The Ark. The story also follows one of the three musicians in the band, Jimmy Kaga-Ricci.

There was a lot to like about ‘I Was Born For This’ since it offers some insightful and scathing commentary on fan culture and the relentless nature of the press, however,, at times, I found myself struggling to get into it.

I related to Fereshteh. As a teenager, my primary friendships took place on the Internet.Five teenagers from across Europe, chatting on Facebook messenger about whatever they wanted. Back when we were younger, we had dreams to all meet up together in the future. I think some of the others have met now. But, Fereshteh is able to save some of her own money u0 from her birthday and Eid in order to afford a trip to London where she can finally meet the boys who she’s followed since she was thirteen.

Of course, being a fan of a musician is different from loving a TV show or a book, but the opportunity to meet someone who you’ve put on your own pedestal and consider to be amazing and important to you is a big part of Fereshteh’s journey.

However, there was a lot about the book that rubbed me the wrong way. For example, the storyline focusing on Jowan, a perceived romantic relationship between Jimmy and his bandmate, Rowan. I immediately thought of the age of fans writing fanfiction about real people in ridiculous scenarios, and Oseman is quick to shut that down and acknowledge that people are more than dialogue, actions and tropes. They have depth and nuance and traumas and vices. Things that might keep them from their happiness, even if it’s right in front of them. Rowan does love Jimmy. Like a brother. Just like Jimmy loves Rowan. Like a brother. But the significance of Jowan as a plot device, admittedly, put me off reading it for a while.

Regardless of that, I found myself drawn into Jimmy’s side of the story, and empathising with him immensely. Throughout the story, Jimmy, Lister and Rowan talk about how the fans, and even other famous people don’t actually know them, and how isolating and lonely being famous, especially as kids, can be. It’s sad, and yet, it echoes the sentiments of other true to life accounts from child stars etc.

The first that came to mind was Miley Cyrus being known as Miley Stewart and Hannah Montana throughout her adolescence had a public exploration of who she was as a person and an artist, making daring choices with her music and public persona, from her rockish video likening herself to a caged bird with ‘Can’t Be Tamed’, after the conclusion of ‘Hannah Montana’ to cutting her iconic brown hair, tying it blond and wearing it in space buns, partying and later going viral online for twerking on Mark Ronson during their performance at the VMA awards, before being the artist we know now, releasing her viral TikTok song, ‘Flowers’ about her journey of self love.

But I quickly likened Jimmy’s journey to being more like the child stars behind Oseman’s Netflix adaptation of Heartstopper, where Kit Connor was forced by fans to come out as bisexual, lest his depiction of Nick be completely inaccurate. It was sad, as a fan, and as an older person, to see voracious fans devouring every last morsel of a person, thinking they understand everything about them. Kit Connor isn’t Nick. And the public persona that Jimmy, Rowan and Lister were showing the fans of The Ark weren’t true to their personalities, they were superficial caricatures that they were struggling to separate from themselves.

Jimmy’s struggles with anxiety and paranoia are only exasabated by the fact the fans are constantly declaring their love for him and his fellow bandmates. Understanding the way that a fan can love a celebrity is something that I personally would have loved Oseman to go deeper into. I am a passionate fan, and probably, if I was able to meet some of my favourite celebrities, would tell them that I loved them. But, the reality is, that when I had the chance to encounter a band I liked, made up of people around my age, I bought them a care package with Strepsils, sweets, a pack of cards, more black nail polish and eyeliner, since the lead singer declared on Twitter that they were running out on tour, and other bits and bobs for them. Not because I thought they owed me anything, just because I felt like maybe they’d be bored on their tour bus, and that after a long UK tour, followed promptly by a European tour, Strepsils were probably a good idea.

If Oseman were to explore this concept again now, I’d like to see how different fans might interact with celebrities. Saying that, I am glad I gave the story a chance. The resolution demonstrates a genuine sense of humanity, silliness, and normalcy to these celebrities. We learn through Fereshteh and Jimmy that they’re struggling with things, but they’re people and they’re sarcastic, resilient and they’re really just kids. All of these characters, they really are just kids. It was raw to be struck by the realisation that fame took away The Ark’s childhoods.